TTT – Epic Gift Guide for Readers

Top Ten Tuesday

Top Ten Tuesday is a weekly feature hosted by The Broke and the Bookish. This feature has a different (usually) book related topic each week, and the goal is to compose a list of ten things that correspond to the topic!

This week’s theme is:  All the Best “Gifts” that Every Reading Obsessed Human Needs to Have

I think that we can all agree that every reader is different. We do not all like reading in the same places. Some people can read anywhere, while others prefer to burrow into their ridiculously fluffy couch surrounded by 1,000 pillows and perhaps a blanket or two. We do not all like reading the same types of books. You’ve got your diehard “hardcover or paperback only for me, thanks” folks, along with your “e-reader for life” people. Let’s not even get into the bookmark versus dog-ear debate! Moral of the story paragraph is that readers come in all shapes and sizes. I, however, am utterly brilliant and have come up with a list of pretty necessary “gifts” that each and every reading obsessed human can agree would be awesome to have.

The Comfiest Sweatpants in the Entire World 

Okay, not that you necessarily have to be comfortable to read and enjoy it, but it sure does help when you don’t have something as annoying as pants that are so tight that you cannot breath occupying your brain at the same time as you’re just minding your own business, trying to enjoy a damn book. Nobody needs distractions when reading, and uncomfortable clothes are distracting. The comfiest sweatpants in the entire world would become your new best friend, because they’d feel like fluffy, warm clouds surrounding your legs, allowing you to read in peace without that whole “can’t breathe” issue.

A Magical Refrigerator that Produces Any Food or Drink that you Desire 

Reading burns millions of calories (its science people, look it up if you don’t believe me), thus it is important to always remember to eat while reading. While you can certainly plan ahead and have snacks and beverages within arm length when you sit down to read, marathon reading sessions happen out of the blue, at which point getting up to replenish snacks and beverages is an unnecessary distraction. The only way to solve this problem is a magical refrigerator that can produce whatever a reader desires to eat or drink. You may be thinking – well what if I want something that needs heated up? The magical refrigerator is magical, and although it’s called a refrigerator, it serves everything at exactly the right temperature, so no worries.

♥ A Secret Wardrobe that does not take you to Narnia but Instead Takes you to a Library that Contains Every Book in the World 

I mean… this one is obvious, yeah? Let’s all just hope that this library has a seriously great organizational system or else we are all doomed.

♥ A Minion to Hold Your Book for You 

We have all been there – arms are tired, but MUST KEEP READING. Or – so many snacks, but must hold the book with at least one hand. Enter your very own Minion, who has no problem whatsoever with holding your book for hours upon hours. So you just sit back, relax, rip open that bag of Sour Cream and Onion chips from the magical refrigerator, and get to reading.

♥ A Shield that “Nicely” Harasses Anyone that tries to Bother you while you Read ♥

The goal of this isn’t to inflict any serious harm (we aren’t savages!), but to annoy just enough that the person understands that while you are reading, you are not to be bothered. I’m thinking the shield can squirt the person in the face with silly string when they get too close, or the shield can start singing whichever song the person hates the most… you get where I am going. Just something to get the person to leave. Oh, and don’t worry, the annoyances don’t penetrate the shield, therefore the annoying song wouldn’t bother the reader inside. You’re welcome.

♥ The Ability to Retain all of the Details from all Past Books ♥

Next book in a series coming out soon? NO PROBLEM. No re-caps needed. Although, this could really backfire if you’re into watching movie adaptions of books, because the differences would be glaring, and therefore earth shattering.

♥ A Sleep Chamber that Allowed you to Read and Sleep at the Same Time ♥

I’m an 8 hours of sleep per night or else don’t even look at me kind of girl. Imagine how tiny my TBR list would be if I didn’t waste those just sleeping! 8 hours per night, times 7 days per week, times 52 weeks per year … 2,912 HOURS. THAT IS A LOT OF TIME. So, yes, bring on the sleep chamber that re-energizes my body without actually requiring me to sleep.

♥ Magical Cellphone that allows you to Call or Text any Author in the World (and Guarantees a Response!) ♥

Let’s hope that this also comes with unlimited data and text messages, because THERE ARE SO MANY THINGS TO TALK ABOUT. Authors are absolutely going to hate this one, but it would be the #1 GOTTA HAVE IT gift for readers.

Reading as it is currently is pretty damn awesome, but with these gifts, it could be even better. I’m going to cross my fingers and hold out hope that one day these things will exist to make reading even better. HAPPY READING, ALL.

So Tell Me

What do you think an awesome “gift” for readers would be?

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